Silence, Shyness, and Invisibility: A Reflection

Contrasts in Power and Weakness

Silence is often misunderstood. People in Western cultures generally assume being quiet means someone is disinterested, insecure, or lacks confidence, but it can actually be a form of self-protection or resistance that can vary from one person to another. Reading Mitsuye Yamada’s “Invisibility Is an Unnatural Disaster” and Saba Mahmood’s “Feminist Theory, Embodiment, and the Docile Agent” helped me see that silence, shyness, and invisibility are much more complex than they seem on the surface, and that they’ve shaped a lot of my own experiences.

Yamada argues that silence, especially for Asian American women, is often imposed by society rather than chosen. Many of us are taught, either directly or indirectly, to stay quiet and not take up space. But she also shows that silence isn’t always a sign of weakness. Sometimes it’s the only form of control someone feels they have. That felt very true to me.

Mahmood adds another perspective by looking at women in Egypt whose religious practices appear passive but are deeply intentional and empowering. That challenged the idea that real agency has to be loud or rebellious. I’ve often chosen silence in unfamiliar spaces because it felt safer, even if it left me feeling invisible. Shyness plays a role, too. It’s often misread as a flaw, especially in cultures that prize being outspoken. But for some of us, shyness is part of who we are or how we were raised. I’ve had times when I finally spoke up in a group, only to be brushed off. Experiences like that make it hard to try again. Mahmood’s work helped me rethink those moments, not as failures, but as another way of showing up and participating. Invisibility, in some cases, has felt protective, like a way to avoid judgment or conflict. But over time, it can start to feel like erasure. When no one sees you, it can feel like your voice doesn’t matter. Yamada describes this kind of invisibility as a disaster, and I understand why. Still, both authors helped me see that invisibility and silence aren’t always negative. They can be strategic, even powerful. The challenge is finding a balance, knowing when to stay quiet and when to speak up, and recognizing that both can be valid forms of expression.

I have always had a complicated relationship with my silence and shyness as a young girl in elementary school I was weird and had a lot of opinions, something I now think is kind of beautiful however, 10-year-old boys are mean and as I got older I realized that I was seen as annoying to my male classmates, specifically the ones grew up with in honors classes. I remember in kindergarten the first time about 10 of us were taken to the honors teacher twice a week to do advanced reading and puzzles, and I was so excited I loved reading and puzzles and excitedly answered every question, I was also the only one girl in that group and none of them ever really talked to me which I thought it was just because I was a girl and I didn't really mind until 3rd grade when a new girl came into the group, she was pretty and quieter than me and to my shock, the boys had no issue talking to her. that was the first time I felt silence being pushed onto me, it was clear if I wanted to be part of them I had to be a silent part of them. So I made myself a more palatable girl. In middle school and early high school, I kept silent and agreeable, especially in social settings/groups. As I got older, I grew out of being shy, at least academically. I loved discussing, and the academic spaces I got into as I aged became more perceptive to people who were passionate about things. Socially, I still lean toward being quiet, but it is not always because I want people to like me, but because I do not always want to modify myself or what I want to talk about just to fit in. When people my age are talking about couples or relationship gossip I do not usually contribute not because I feel like I would be judged for participating but because it is not something I care about, I think as mentioned in the writings there is power in voice but also in my silence and I do not want to waste the power of my voice on the thing that would feel ingenuine. Silence can be a tool of safety, a way to protect your peace, and sometimes I think the Western idea of feminism makes people forget that.

In the end, I think silence, shyness, and invisibility are more complex than they appear on the surface. Silence can be imposed and forced upon us, but it can also be chosen. They can be tools of survival, resistance, and even of strength in people's lives. What matters is being aware of when these traits are helping us and when they might be limiting us. For me, the goal is to find that balance, to speak when I have something to say, to be okay with quiet when I need it, and to make sure I’m not disappearing when I really want to be seen.